


GOT7 Angst Drabbles

by ijustwantacue



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - Royalty, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Animal Death, Blackmail, Car Accidents, Character Death, Cheating, Child Death, Death, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Goodbyes, Heavy Angst, Insecurity, Jealousy, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-22
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-07-01 06:54:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 42
Words: 19,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15768888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ijustwantacue/pseuds/ijustwantacue
Summary: This is a collection of drabbles I made via requests. The prompt list was posted on Tumblr and Wattpad.





	1. Drabble #1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 34\. "I can't lose you." + JAEBEOM + Angst with Happy Ending

You don't spare a glance to the gruff men giving you head to toe as you enter the club. Keeping your head straight, you go to the bar area where Jinyoung said you can find your boyfriend. Apparently, JB was fired from work earlier for calling out his boss who's harrassing another employee. Rather than going home to face you, he felt ashamed of now being unemployed and asked for Jinyoung's company at a bar you'll never go to.

Well tough luck, you're here now and you're ready to slap some sense to him.

Jinyoung notices you first, as he's already expecting your quick arrival. You see him tap JB's shoulder and point to your direction, as you continue to make way to them. JB turns to you with wide, guilty eyes, before giving Jinyoung what you think is a quick glare. With his languid eyes, you're not entirely sure what he's trying to express.

"We're going home," you announce without further ado, taking the glass from JB's hand, putting it down on the counter in front of him, and replacing it with your determined grip.

"No, I can't--"

"We have to talk and I don't want to do it here. Get up."

"No."

You breathe harshly. It's taking all your strength to stay collected. But you know how ugly things can get so you refuse to give in to your anger.

You don't let go of JB's hand. Instead, you also hold the other one. You look at him in the eye. "Please, JB. Let's get out of here and talk."

He stubbornly shakes his head. "Not now. I need to find a job first so I can face you and--"

"Talking to me doesn't have a job requirement, for goodness sake. And are you really solving anything when you're whining here with Jinyoung instead of coming home to me?"

His bloodshot eyes finally focus on you. "I'm... embarrassed to face you."

"Embarrassed of what? Of being fired because you helped another human being?" You let go of his hand so you can hold his face in between your palms. "Baby, I'm proud of what you did. I don't love you for having a high-paying job; I love you for being the man who stands up for what's right. You lost your job doing good. Trust me, if I had found out you stayed silent, I'll be the one you'd lose."

"No!" He holds the hand carressing his cheeks and gives you pleading eyes. **"I can't lose you."**

"You won't," you sincerely swear. "So why don't you come home now so you can rest? Tomorrow we'll figure things out and I'm sure you'll be back on the field in no time."

Seems like exhausation and realisation finally hit him as he nods weakly.

"And I'll be here beside you through it all." You drop him a chaste kiss. "I promise."


	2. Drabble #2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 50\. "Let me go! I need to save him!”  + YUGYEOM

It was supposed to be a fun day. You looked forward to a weekend away from deadlines and paperworks. Yugyeom also needed the break after touring the world. The beach was supposed to take away both your stress.

But you never reached the beach. It was on your sight when you felt the car swerve due to an impact from behind. It was like time stood still when you see the view go away from you as the car falls down the cliff.

All you could do is hold Yugyeom's hand. You looked at him in panic and worry. And he looked at you for the last time.

"Ma'am, can you hear me? Ma'am?" the voice talking to you slowly clears up. Your blurry vision focuses on the medical volunteer in front of you.

You feel everything instantly. The stinging wounds, exhaustion, shock, and disbelief.

"Ma'am how are you feeling? Where does it hurt?"

"Yugyeom," you manage to say though weakly.

"Ma'am, I need to know where it hurts so we can focus on it. Can you tell me--"

"Yugyeom," you eyes widen at the attendant's. "Yugyeom, the man with me, where is he? Is he okay?"

"Ma'am, I want you to focus on yourself first--"

"No! Where is Yugyeom? I'm-- I'm a licensed nurse. I can help. Where is he?"

"Ma'am we've done everything to save him but--"

You know the next words so you refuse to listen anymore. You practically shove the volunteer away so you can search for Yugyeom.

The pain on your leg shoots you abruptly, making you sit back down. You finally assess yourself--your limbs got the most damage. You don't know how your head is miraculously uninjured.

The stretcher with a covered body answers all your question.

"No," you shake your head. You crawl your way to them, thankfully the workers see you and stop to wait.

The person talking to you realises he can't stop you so he just holds you up so you can go to the body faster.

You lift the cloth in haste and almost fall back upon seeing him.

"No... no! Yugyeom! This--No! I can save him! What's his vitals? Why doesn't he have a mask at least?"

"That's enough. Miss, you need to get medical attention. You can see him later when you're okay," one of the nurses say.

"No! I can help! He was wearing his seatbelts and there's an air bag--"

The faint memories flash on your mind. In the brink of death, you saw Yugyeom move. He took his seatbelts off so he can cover you, as your seat doesn't have an air bag. He never got to use his because he used his figure to take much of the impact.

"Alright, ma'am, why don't you come with me first to have your wounds--"

"No!" you struggle out of your helper's hold but seems like they're determined to take you now as you feel more hands holding you back. **"Let me go! I need to save him!”**

"Ma'am, please, come with us."

Still, you do your best to get out of their holds. Yugyeom needs you. You don't feel the hurt at all, surely Yugyeom needs attention over you. You didn't spend years studying and working on a hospital to have your boyfriend... die helplessly in front of you. You should do something.

But the world seems to disagree as you feel them inject something on you. The last of your senses know that it's to make you sleep, since you're being uncooperative.

How you wish they give you something stronger. With Yugyeom gone because of you, what's the point of waking up again?


	3. Drabble #3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 23\. "Can you hug me for the last time?" + JAEBEOM

You knew it would come to an end soon. He's not meant to stay. He never promised, and given the very little knowledge you have of his identity, he never wanted what you had to linger on.

Still, that morning, you feel something drifting away from you. As if he's taking a part of you with his leaving.

But that's silly. Everything about your 'relationship' is rushed. Nothing should've been attached.

The taxi outside your house is waiting for him but he can't seem to step out. He wants to say something but you both know there's no point. It will all fall to disappointment.

So he settles to a kiss on your cheek.

You smile bitterly. Is that all your month-long company is worth?

He looks at you again, trying to find the words in your expression. But you just nod. This shouldn't get longer than it should be.

You were the sanctuary he needed in his meaningless days. Now that he's back on his feet, he'll return to the world that needs him.

You don't need him. But as you watch his back slowly go distant, you can't help but call out.

"JB!"

He turns quickly, as if he's expecting it. Maybe he really wants to do something for you one last time. After all, he's the one who used you to bring back his self worth.

You walk to him slowly, still debating whether to tell him your last wish. His face is encouraging, but the taxi behind him guilts you. He'll be late for his flight.

 **"Can you hug me for the last time?** " you ask, voice breaking at the last words.

The hesitation in his eyes answers you. You probably sound like a stupid little girl.

"I..." he struggles to say, "I don't think that can make this easier."

"Of course," you nod to yourself.

And so you watch him finally get in the taxi that will take him away from you forever. After all, that's what people do. They take a part of your soul to create a masterpiece of their own. And they never return.


	4. Drabble #4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 18\. "I just missed you." & 37\. "Talk to me. Please." + JINYOUNG + Angst with a Happy Ending

You're about to scream at the person who thought knocking on your door at three in the morning is an acceptable thing to do. You barely get sleep the past week. Your nights are spent rethinking your decision to cool off with the best person you've ever been with. It was necessary, you convince yourself, since it feels like he doesn't have time for you these days anyway.

The banging on your door gets louder, so you pull it open and get ready to fire.

You're greeted by Jinyoung's dull eyes.

"What are you doing here?" the profanities you prepared to blurt turn to a whisper.

You wait as he takes in your figure. His eyes turn from empty to hopeful to sad then regretful. His shoulders are slumped, and his breathing seems laboured. His mouth is in a grim line.

He tries to appear firm, but all you can see are his sadness and hesitation.

"I'm--" he clears his throat when it came too pitched, "I just finished practice and the guys were asking how you've been. I thought I'll ask you personally if I should tell them that we've broken up. I didn't realise it was already late and I might disturb your sleep--"

"Jinyoung, you're dawdling."

He shuts his mouth. You always know when he's trailing away from the truth.

You sigh. It's obvious that he has another reason for coming to your house at this hour. You wish he'll just say it, but you know he's not the type to say things out loud. Through your relationship, he showed you his love through his actions; you can count with your fingers the times he told you he loves you.

So you don't expect him to say it directly right now. The effort to come is appreciated, but it won't be fruitful unless one of you admits something.

"Jinyoung, as much as I want to let you in, I think--"

 **"I just missed you,** " he says in a barely audible volume, you almost thought you imagined it. But he's looking at you like that again, as if he's lost and he needs you to tell him the way. **"Talk to me. Please.** I... just need a few words then I'll leave. It's been hard without you. I can't sleep thinking that your last words were for us to take a break."

You close your eyes and try to wake yourself up. This can't be true. The Park Jinyoung you've been with these past months wouldn't have been able to say such things. He's the unbreakable one in this relationship.

Except, he thinks you already ended the relationship.

Looking at him under the moonlight, you see something you never considered. Park Jinyoung is actually the more caring one, making sure you're feeling fine and getting what you need. Yes, he seems to be taking things easily all the time but maybe he's just too good at hiding the negative sides. Maybe he's also not happy with neglecting you. Maybe he needs you to be the strong one during these hard days, and in return, you became selfish and left him.

Maybe it's time for what's broken to be fixed again.

"You can sleep on the couch," you say without looking at him, focusing on the doorknob as you open it wider. "And for the record, we haven't ended it officially yet. We just needed to rest for a while."

"Does this mean we're walking to the finish line together again?"

Your mouth involuntarily quirks up. "Maybe after we really get to _rest_ and talk about this in a sane hour."


	5. Drabble #5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 46\. “I thought you said you love me?” + MARK + cheating, reader says prompt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Language
> 
> Please don't cheat/let yourself be used in cheating. It can scar a person for life. Break up with them instead of breaking their heart, trust, and self-worth.

You feel stupid waiting for it to slap you in the face rather than listening to the whispers that told you clearly. You should've known when he started coming home too late. You should've known when you noticed a change in his behaviour; he seems jumpy and agitated whenever you ask him things, then later on he'll appear too guilty and give you lavish things to make up for a simple disagreement.

God, you should've known with the classic lipstick stain. You should've known when you smelled a strange cologne.

But no, you only completed the puzzle when you found them in your bedroom, disrespecting you entirely.

You're so, so stupid.

"Babe, can you just listen--"

"No," you don't bother to give him a chance to make up an excuse. You continue packing your bags. You bought the house with him but there's no way you'll lie on that bed again. It's disgusting.

"She was drunk and--"

"Oh, for fuck's sake, Mark, I am not THAT stupid!" you face him, seething. "She's drunk? Well, good for her to still know our address and lay under you! I wonder what I would've seen if she _wasn't_ drunk!"

"You just caught us in a bad time--"

 **“I thought you said you love me?** ” you snap. "I thought you said you'll work hard to give me what I deserve. Is this what I deserve?"

"No! You deserve more and I just--"

You're done. You lift your bag and walk pass him. You don't even care whether the girl is already out or shamelessly still hanging around.

You will be out, that's for sure.

"Baby, I swear didn't mean--"

"Enough!" your voice echoes through the entire house. You turn to him and finally, a tear falls down. You're just so tired. It's taking your all not to break down. You won't give them that satisfaction. You calmly breathe out. "This is enough, Mark. I will forever doubt my worth because of what you did. So please, just let me go in peace. You owe me this at least."

"But you're the one I love. She's just... nothing," he tries for the last time.

But you just look at him coldly. You turn your back and head to the door. "You're also nothing to me now."


	6. Drabble #6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 30\. "How does it feel?" + JINYOUNG + Emotional abuse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING!  
> Listen to Taylor Swift- Dear John. It fits.

Cuddling your knees to your chest, you stare blankly at the bedroom. Your tears have long dried and you just want to rest for a while.

They were right all along. He came like a storm and you liked the thrill. He made you feel strong because you can take him. You got so used in his rough ways that you thought it's what you wanted.

It took a while but you finally understood. He was all the things your mother said you should avoid.

"What are you doing?"

You look up to find him giving you a glare. The tricky thing about Jinyoung, he has so many versions that you find interesting. One day, he'll be the sweetheart who makes you feel like you're the most beautiful person in the world. The next, he'll make it seem like without him, you're nothing. You believed him all the time--all you wanted is to impress him.

Today, it seems like it's his side that doesn't want to see weakness. It comes out when something upsetting happens to him, and he uses you to regain his dignity. You foolishly believed that it's your duty to help him get back to his feet--but you forgot to treat yourself better, and not act like a stepping-stone he'll kick away when he's at the top again.

He was never a man of compassionate words. He never apologised, never promised anything, never even told you he loves you. You would always rely on his actions, on his blurred lines that could mean you're the world or you're the world _right now_.

"Hey, speak up. What's wrong with you?" He sits down in front of you and gently holds your face up.

"You," you answer flatly, looking into his eyes.

These are the eyes you have never deciphered. They have always been cloudy and you get lost in them.

"Me?" he raises a brow. His mouth quirks up on one side. "Darling, you can do better than that. Speak in a way I can understand."

"You were using me."

If he's taken aback, he doesn't show. He laughs dryly, finding amusement in your feign bravery. "Am I? I don't remember getting anything from you. Isn't it you who needs me? Where would you be if I didn't take you away from your boring life--if you can even call that a life."

"I would be somewhere I'm happy."

He clenches his jaw. You're not cooperating. He's feeling down enough after what happened to him today. How dare you upset him further?

"Listen here," he says in a dangerous tone. "I gave you what you wanted. I never asked for anything but your presence. And somehow, _you're_ the unhappy one? _I'm_ the who used _you_? Who was it who begged to be taken away from their miserable life? Who was it who wanted to stay?"

"I didn't know--"

"You're saying I'm using you. **How does it feel?** Tell me because I should be the one feeling it, not you."

You shake your head. He refuses to admit it. He always, always finds a way to twist your words and make you feel bad.

He stands up while still looking down at you. You feel weak again. He has mastered how to control you with his mere stare.

"I'm leaving you," you declare with the last courage you can muster.

He laughs mockingly. "Stupid girl. You had all the time earlier. Why are you still here?"

Because it's too late for you to be saved.


	7. Drabble #7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 38\. "Please, be happy. For me." + JAEBEOM

Airports have seen more sincere kisses than the wedding halls. While you haven't thought what you had with him will end in a wedding, a promise of a lifetime, you certainly didn't wish for it to end in an airport too.

JB sits next to you, waiting for his flight to start boarding. You have been an hour early, because you hate being late in such important matters. He received an offer abroad and you've been the first one to congratulate and tell him that you'll be fine whatever decision he makes.

You don't regret that, of course. You want what's best for him and an international offer has a high chance of shooting him to the position you know he deserves. But right now, spending the last hour with him, you wonder what could've happened if you selfishly asked him to stay.

The announcement startles you out of your delusion.

JB looks at you and you acknowledge his silent question with a smile. You stand up first, then offer a hand for him. You try your best to smile--he'll be out there making you proud! But he takes your hand and kisses the back of it, before standing up and enveloping you in a hug.

"I'm going to miss you," he whispers on your hair.

You gulp a couple of times. You've done good so far. You can fight the tears until he's inside. "I'll miss you too."

They start calling for passengers again so you take a deep breath and gently push him away.

"You'll call me when you've settled?" you ask while touching his cheek. It's hard to reach him with his height, but later you won't be able to reach him even though you've stretched your limbs to the extent. You can do this.

You see his expression soften. He's like a kid about to throw tantrums, with his pout and downcasted eyes. Ah, you're really gonna miss this baby.

"What if we can't--"

"Shh!" you put a finger over his lips. "We've already talked about this. No matter what happens, you'll try your best out there. I'll be here always supporting you. And don't think I'm asking anything in return."

"But--"

"Jaebeommie," you hold his shoulders and look into his eyes. **"Please, be happy. For me.** Don't make me regret letting you go. Make me proud."

With a sigh, he nods. He kisses you on the cheek and looks at the boarding area. You tap his butt playfully, but instead of scolding you, he just gives you a long stare. You know he's trying to memorise your face so he can remember it during the hard times.

You remain smiling until you've exited the airport's premises. As soon as you get to your cars, the tears fall. Who are you kidding?

"Please be happy," you chant through your sobs. "I have to be happy. For him."


	8. Drabble #8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 38\. "Please, be happy. For me." + JINYOUNG

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cried while writing this.

You smile softly as you play with his hair. Jinyoung has fallen asleep before you do, but you don't really resent him for it. Not only is he working all day to pay your hospital bills, he also comes to you right after to make sure you're still holding on. Of course, you are. You don't want to leave such a beautiful man who loves you more than he loves himself. But tonight, finally noticing the bags under his eyes, hearing his snores due to exhaustion, you can't help but feel guilty.

When you found out your sickness is on a terminal stage, you hid it from him. Jinyoung only found out when you first collapsed and the doctor called him, being your emergency contact. He didn't cry. He didn't confront you or anything. The first thing he did was embrace you and ask where you should go. What measures should you take in order to be cured or lengthen your life. Your death was out of question. Jinyoung refused to let you think about leaving him for a minute.

When your treatments started, he went through it all with you. You would always see him on the other side of the glass before the anesthesia takes your conciousness away. Or he'd be kissing your face before you enter the room he can't get into, and it's him you also see when you get out.

Jinyoung missed out so much of his life because of you. You know that it shouldn't be like this--he should be out there living the life he wanted. He was supposed to go on a trip with his friends. He was supposed to attend a reunion with his family, which only happens every five years. He was supposed to be promoted.

But there he was, by your side. Never shedding a tear, making it his goal to be your strength. He basically threw his life away to focus on you.

He's as handsome as ever, but it's undeniable that taking care of you has taken a toll on him. You wonder if he even eats right or sleeps enough. You only see him feeding you or making sure you get enough rest. But he's the one who should have it right now, since none if those had actually helped you anyway. The doctor told you yesterday that they've done their best. Of course, they did. But your body is betraying you, and they can't do anything about it.

Jinyoung stirs upon hearing your whimpers. You try to cover your sobs with your hand but it just feels so heavy. You just feel so tired.

"What is it?" It doesn't take a moment for him to focus. He immediately holds your face and stares at you in panic. "What's wrong? Are you hurting?"

You shake your head, your cry getting louder.

"I'm going to call the nurse." He tries to stand up, but you hold his hand and shake your head again. "What should I do? What's wrong?"

You weakly pull him to you. He holds you tightly, trying to ensure you that he's there.

"I'm sorry," you say in between sobs, making him worried further.

"What are you sorry for? Is anything wrong?" He soothes your back as you start to have trouble breathing.

"I'm sorry... I'm tired."

His hand stills. You continue to cry as he lets it sink in.

You're tired. It's the truth. And though Jinyoung doesn't want to give up, it's really your call. He was there with you ever since he knew, but he's not the one hurting the most. He will never know your pain. But he will understand and never force you to take more.

"Then rest," he whispers, his hand now patting your head.

 **"Please, be happy. For me,"** you say next, to make sure he understands what you really mean.

And he does. Like always, he does. So he has no choice but to promise you. "I will. You can rest and watch me still live for us. I'm gonna do everything we promised we'll do. I'm gonna go everywhere we promised we'll go. You don't have to worry. You can... leave in peace--"

A strangle cry comes out from him, making you choke on your own breathing. Finally, Jinyoung has broken down. You're scared that he's keeping everything inside so you had to see him let it all out before you go. Hearing his cries shouldn't make you happy, but you're relieved.

"Promise me," you order him for the last time. You pull away to look into his eyes. You know when he's lying. You've mastered reading his supposed to be blank eyes.

"I promise," he tells you with conviction, sealing it with a kiss he doesn't want to pull away to.

When he does, he finds your eyes closed. Not breathing, but smiling.


	9. Drabble #9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 38\. "Please, be happy. For me." + YUGYEOM

"Come in!" the voice from the other side acknowledges the knock.

Yugyeom enters the room with expectations of how stunning you look, but time seems to have stopped when he _really_ sees you. It's not even the dress or the accessories--your smile completely took his breath away. You softly giggle at his expression, and he lets you walk to him and hold his hand.

"I'm going to wear the earrings you gave to me on my 18th birthday. Can you put it on me?" You drag him to the vanity table where makeups and accessories are scattered.

The earrings do fit for how you look today but Yugyeom feels a bit of bitterness that you chose to wear it. Nevertheless, he picks up the pair as you carefully put your hair out of the way.

"Did you make me come all the way from Seoul to put this on you?" he tries to lighten up.

"I never forced you to come. I didn't even know you'll come," you truthfully say.

Yugyeom falls silent and focuses on putting the accessory on you. When he finishes, he steps away and you both admire the beautiful finish through the mirror.

But you notice Yugyeom's frown reflected too.

"Hey, what's wrong?" You stand up and hold his face.

"I'm just... I didn't know I'll come back to see you getting married. It feels..."

"Too soon? I know," you shake your head with a smile. "It was fast but I'm sure of this. He's amazing, Yugyeom. And as my oldest friend, I want you to be here and tell me that you're happy for me!"

Oldest friend. Yugyeom feels a punch on his chest. You both know he wasn't just a friend. Before he went to the city to start training, you two were something else entirely. If the love you have right now was fast, the one you had with Yugyeom was raging. You were all of each other's first.

"Yugyeom, come on. **Please, be happy. For me** ," you say with a cute smile, completely oblivious of his struggle.

"Are you happy?" he asks back.

"Yes!"

That is all he ever wanted.

You need someone as amazing as you by your side. The young Yugyeom you were very much in love with six years ago wouldn't have been able to give you what you deserve, so he grabbed the opportunity to be better and worked his way to the top. All he wanted is to be able to make you happy.

So why didn't you wait for him?

"Congratulations," he tells you with arms open for a hug. He holds you for a long time and for the last time.


	10. Drabble #10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 55\. “He’s not answering my calls.” + BAMBAM

You didn’t expect Bambam to greet you so coldly. He’s been nice to you ever since you started dating Yugyeom, his best friend. But here he is right now, looking down on you as if you’ve commited something disgusting. Yugyeom must’ve told him the simple mistake you made.

“Good evening, Bambam. Is Yugyeom here?” you ask despite the glare.

“No,” he answers flatly.

“Well, **he’s not answering my calls.** Do you have an idea when I can find him?”

“No.”

You breathe out harshly. You shouldn’t take it out on Bambam; it’s your fault Yugyeom is upset anyway. But he’s the only one who can possibly know where Yugyeom is. How can you solve this without his help?

“Look,” you start to say, “I know Yugyeom must’ve mentioned something to you–”

Bambam raises a brow. “You cheated on him.”

“No. I did not. I know it seems like that but I’m going to explain to him that I didn’t mean–”

“You didn’t mean it, but you still did it.”

“I did NOT do it,” you insist through gritted teeth.

Bambam merely huffs. He closes the door behind him and stands up in front of you intimidatingly. You never knew Bambam can make you feel like so little.

“You were flirting with a co-worker. Wait, let me rephrase,” he stops you from interrupting with a hand, “you let a co-worker flirt with you. Yes, you might not have flirted back, but the fact that you let him believe it’s okay means you’re not afraid to ruin your relationship with Yugyeom. Now, I’m not an expert in this but as Yugyeom’s friend, I think I have the right to dislike you and protect Yugyeom from you. He might seem more matured than me most of the time, but that idiot is very sensitive and kind. You break him now, he’ll forgive you sooner than he should. I don’t want you taking advantage of that.”

Your gaze drops to the ground. All he said are true.

“I trusted you,” he points out. “I thought that Yugyeom saw something special in you so I didn’t say a word. But now, I won’t just stand and watch as you ruin him. If you want him to forgive you, go on and find him. Tell him you’re sorry, that you didn’t mean it and you’ll avoid that asshole starting now. But don’t ever think I will help you. I will never trust you again. That’s my bestfriend you hurt. That’s worse than hurting me myself.”

You bite your lip to prevent yourself from crying. You realise how stupid you are to think lightly of what happened. Bambam is right. Yugyeom might forgive you right now but the people around him will always remember what you did. How could you be stupid to hurt someone who has so many people loving him?

Bambam slams the door, leaving you alone in such a cold night.


	11. Drabble #11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 41\. "I don't even know you anymore." + JACKSON

The door opens so you sit up properly and wait for him to enter. It takes a while, given that he can barely walk properly, but when he sees you, he immediately grins.

"Baby! What are you doing still up? I told you I will be home late."

He makes his way to you and gives you a big smooch, making you wince. He reeks of alcohol and a mixture of strong odour you can't figure out.

"Did you miss me? I'm here now. Do you want to come with me tomorrow? There's this party--"

"No," you answer before he can even detail yet another night he's planning to spend out.

Jackson, still oblivious, starts kissing your cheek. His lips go down to your neck, and you try to think whether this is what you wanted. Has he been partying too much that you start longing for his touch? No, that can't be it. It hasn't been long since the last time you did it. The emptiness inside you wasn't filled even then.

"Jackson, stop," you say weakly and waits for him to detach himself from you. But he makes no effort and even starts holding you closer. "Jackson, I said stop."

"I'm sorry, baby," he whispers on your ear, still leaving feathery kisses. "I didn't forget about our date. I just couldn't find the right timing earlier, so I ended up waiting for the guys to be too drunk to notice I'm gone."

"And you're also too drunk."

He laughts. "I'm drunk? No, I'm not drunk. I can still talk to you, see?"

Your last patience evaporates. You abruptly stand up, Jackson almost falling face flat to the couch. You want to scream and hurt him but you're just so tired of everything.

"Jackson," you muster up your formal voice. It's been long since you've used it on him. Jackson has found a way to soften you. But now that he got too comfortable having you in the palm of his hands, you have to build yourself back again. "I understand that your career requires you to be out most of the time, but this is different. You come home everynight drunk after attending some party. This isn't part of your schedule with GOT7 or as a solo artist. This is all for your friends."

"But baby, you're not that petty, right? Of course you'll let me go with my friends," he tries to reason. You take a deep breath. He just doesn't get it.

"Yes, Jackson. I'm not petty. But I'm also not a pushover that's why I'm saying this now. I took a leave when I'm supposed to go to an important meeting that could've landed me in the position I wanted. I chose to be here today, hoping you'll at least spare this day for us. You could've texted me that you'll be late. I'll accept that. But I didn't receive any. Not even an apology."

"I did say I'm sorry!" He stands up, now defensive. "And I didn't told you to take a leave. You can't blame this on me."

"Yes, you didn't. And you also don't want me to leave right? But that's what I will do. **I don't even know you anymore** and you certainly don't know me."

He watches you pick up a duffel bag. He didn't even notice that earlier. Is he that drunk? But he can still converse with you so you can't say his mind is clouded.

"You can't leave," he stubbornly says. "You won't leave me."

"If you still think that, you need to sober up." You walk to him and give him a last kiss on the cheek. "What day is it, Jackson?"

Jackson's brows furrow. Is this a test?

You shake your head. You've given up. "It was our anniversary until two hours ago. Too bad you couldn't make it for the last time."


	12. Drabble #12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 27\. "Just because I don't say it, doesn't mean I don't feel hurt." + JAEBEOM + Angst with Happy Ending

Dating the most popular boy will give you a headache, you told yourself before. But JB, with his attractiveness and surprisingly cute side, made you forget about this golden rule. And so you find yourself beside the leader of your school's dance troupe as different people congratulate him and his team for winning the nationals.

"Jae!" another one of those cheerleaders come to greet your boyfriend. This one is a bit gutsy though; she kisses JB on the cheek and acts as if you're invisible. "Are you free tomorrow? It's our turn to compete so we need some inspiration in there, you know. Come watch us!"

JB laughs and if you can groan so loud, you would have. How oblivious is he? You've been trying to grin and bear it for an hour now but is it too much to ask for a little respect? You get that he's a cool boy or whatever façade he decided to take on because of his resting bitch face, but you both know the truth. He's nothing but a dork and loser off-stage. If these people knew how weird he is, they won't invite him on these parties. You're the only one who still love him even though he never once won against you in rock, paper, scissors.

Or maybe not. This is your jealousy speaking and she tends to be dramatic.

"I'll think about it Hyejin," you hear him answer and you roll your eyes.

You walk away from the scene. It's not like he'll notice anyway. You go to the only quiet corner of the house: the backyard.

You admire Jinyoung's house from there. All of JB's friends are familiar to you but you never felt comfortable with them. They are loud, popular, and based on this house, rich-- three things you're not. You can always feel some distance between them and you on the rare times you hang out. You know they also have goofy sides like JB, but their jokes are commonly only understood by the circle of friends.

You've always felt so out of place.

"There you are," you hear JB's voice from behind you.

You look back to watch him approach you. He sits beside you while you go back to staring at the grass.

"Why did you disappear suddenly?" he wraps an arm on your shoulder.

It's always better when you're alone with him. You feel that you're special because his attention is all on you. You know it isn't right to feel insecure and be selfish. He has a bigger world and you have to understand that.

But maybe he also needs to help you with that.

"I'm not really good with crowds," you downplay. "You can go back without me. I'm fine here."

"This is the first time I'm hearing that. Why did you go with me to all these parties though?"

You shrug. "You want to. I'm just doing my role as your girlfriend."

At this, JB holds your shoulders to make you face him. "I don't want that. I want you to come with me and enjoy with me. If you don't like parties, then it's fine. We can do something else. You don't need to force yourself."

"I guess I'm just scared," you answer quietly. "If I tell you I can't keep up with all your parties, you'll probably dump me for a more fun girl. Like that cheerleader earlier. I thought we're going out tomorrow as a celebration for two... but you'd rather support them on their competition, right?"

JB's eyes widen. He almost looks offended. "No, I won't! I told her I'll think about it because she won't stop unless I consider it. I wanted her to leave us because you looked uncomfortable."

"I was uncomfortable," you mutter.

JB sighs. He pulls you closer and holds your chin in between his thumb and forefinger. "You're jealous."

You look away. Finally, he caught up.

"You should've told me. I didn't know it will hurt you."

" **Just because I don't say it, doesn't mean I don't feel hurt** ," you say as a matter of fact. "I thought you'll figure it out yourself."

Without any warning, JB leans down to kiss you. You can't move for a moment, trying to comprehend what's happening. You feel his hand move from your chin to the back of your head, in order to pull your closer. You close your eyes and finally respond. You get lost in it.

JB pulls away when you're both almost breathless. He remains close to you, forehead leaning on your own. His eyes are closed. "I'm sorry. I'm not very good at showing it, but I do care about how you feel. I can be lacking sometimes, but I hope you can be patient and help me through it. I want you, and I want to keep you beside me. I'll try to be better. I promise."


	13. Drabble #13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 19\. "That's it? You expect me to believe that?" + JACKSON + Member says prompt

You can't even remember to breathe properly while watching Jackson pace in front of you. He's livid, and you're afraid he'll burst once he stops walking. Beside you sits Bambam who has turned to stone the minute Jackson called for the two of you. You both know what this is about and you're not sure whether to find relief that it's not Jaebeom who found out or the worst of all, Jinyoung.

Jackson hasn't tell Jinyoung yet... right?

"Hyung," Bambam seems to be dying from the suspense so he finally begs Jackson to say something.

"No, you can't call me hyung. Jinyoung is your hyung, right? You don't respect your hyungs."

"Jackson--"

"You shut your mouth when I'm not asking you," he points a finger at you.

You quickly look at the ground. You know you deserve this.

There's silence before Jackson lets out a scream. His voice breaks and you can feel the sound in your bones. He's hurt and confused; he's pulling on his hair because he doesn't really know what to say. Your heart hurts seeing him like this.

"Jackson, please," you try to speak again.

He doesn't look at you and even starts to throw things to the wall.

"Jackson, stop it!" you quickly hold his arms when you see him pick up the mug you remember as Bambam's gift to him last Christmas.

It's too late though. He crashes it on the table while still holding on the lip, so it breaks in his palms and blood gushes out.

"Oh my God," you start crying and try to make him let go of the shards.

Jackson doesn't seem to mind the pain as he takes your hands off him and aim straight to Bambam. "You see what I did?"

Bambam also has tears streaming on his face now.

"I love you and I love that gift from you, but when I thought it was strong enough to take what I did, I ended up wounded." Jackson puts his hand up and shows the blood dripping from it. "This blood will dry up and the wound may heal, but do you think I will forget this pain? Do you think that strong blow won't leave scars?"

You both stay silent and let your sobs fill the air.

"No matter how much we love you, how much Jinyoung treasures the both of you, what you did will scar him for life. You were the love of his life," he looks at you, then turn to Bambam, "and you were a brother to him. How could you two cheat on him?"

"It was an accident. We were really drunk and it was a dare--"

"Save it," Jackson cuts off your explanation. " **That's it? You expect me to believe that?** You expect Jinyoung to believe that? What do you take us for, six-year-olds? I don't want to hear it."

"Jack, I'm sorry," Bambam falls on his knees.

But Jackson only shakes his head. "You screwed over not only her, but also our teamwork, friendship, and all the years we've spent together. You can't fix this, Bambam. And you should go and kneel in front of Jinyoung instead. I doubt he'll forgive either of you two, but he deserves to see you suffer after what you did."


	14. Drabble #14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 18\. "I just... missed you." + YUGYEOM + Member says prompt

The sky is in an overcast and Yugyeom breathes in the air. He walks on the grass in order to get to where you're resting.

He sits down at the most comfortable spot. It's a cemented bench where he can see you clearly. There are flowers around you. He looks up at the sky and smile sheepishly as he remembers the first time he gave you flowers. On the next date, it was your turn to give him a bouquet. Yugyeom found it pure and heartwarming.

"Sorry. I know I said I won't bother you anymore but I wanted to talk to you," he starts, now looking down at you. "The last time I came, I kept on complaining about how life works and even started blaming you. I'm so sorry."

A gush of wind answers him with surprise. Yugyeom looks around and finds no one around, so he lets himself continue with a smile.

"I'm here to say that I'm taking it all back. Instead of focusing on losing, I should think about everything I gained, right? Every single thing that happened in the past shaped me to be like this now. I should be thankful.

"Maybe I just wasn't ready to have the biggest part of my life taken away. I need some time to adjust. My hyungs are helping me through it and encouraged me to keep on talking to you so I can let it all out. I might start coming here randomly to tell you about my life, maybe when something big happens and I feel like you would be happy or sad for me if you knew. I don't really know how often that would be and how long you'll have to wait.

"But for today, the only reason I came here is because **I just... missed you."** He leans down to wipe the leaf that fell. "I'll try not to miss you so much after this. I'll try to live my life to the fullest so I can have stories to tell when I come back. I won't just come here to cry and say I long for you because then, that will never end. I promise to have a more concrete purpose when I visit you again."

Yugyeom stands up. "You will wait for me right? You'll be here when I need someone to listen to my ramblings?"

He sillily stares at the marble with your name, hoping for an answer. When he gets none, he chuckles to himself. "Right, I should get going. I should've been this clingy when you were here."


	15. Drabble #15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 22\. "No. I don't wanna hear it." + BAMBAM + Member says prompt

You can still feel your heart trying to get out of your chest. After meeting with the king to assure him that you've been nothing but loyal, you're now on your way back to your chambers. You knew how cruel he is, but when he made you feel like he believes your words, you can't help but presume that somehow, his royal highness has taken a liking towards you. Too bad he ended the conversation with a threat, one that involves your death if ever he finds out you've betrayed his trust.

"How was it with the king?" your bestfriend quickly approaches you when you entered your shared room, concern written all over her face. "You're still alive so I assume it went well?"

"Thankfully. But oh God," your knees go weak, "it was the scariest moment of my life!"

"This is why I told you to be careful!" she scolds, helping you to the nearest chair. "I think we're all being tested for loyalty. Lady Nel is supposed to plea to him after you. You are two of his personal attendants; he's really hunting down any traitors. I'm relieved Prince Jaebeom doesn't require us to go under such torture."

You open your mouth to comment about her imminent death if ever her master, Second Prince Jaebeom, also starts testing his attendants' loyalty. But four quick knocks on your door make you freeze.

"Who could that be?" the other lady wonders as she stands up to answer the door. But you're quick to hold her wrist, so she looks back to you in panic. "What's wrong?"

"I think that's for me," you say and stand up yourself. "Don't follow me. I shan't be a moment."

"But--"

You give her a meaningful look. She frowns but nods at you. She knows the circumstances and can only pray you can hide it well.

¤¤¤

"My lord," you greet as soon as you close the door behind you. The knocks are a code you and him only know.

Fifth Prince Bambam looks at you blankly. "You really had the nerve to lie at the court earlier, huh?"

Your heart skips a beat but you try to keep your face blank. "I don't know what you're--"

" **No. I don't wanna hear it** ," he nonchalantly says, making you more nervous. "I'm just here to remind you one thing."

You look around to make sure there are no other people. Even though you've memorised each personnel's schedule in order to know which rooms are available or how high is the chance you will be caught, after the meeting with the king, your panic takes over your mastered knowledge.

"I'm the reason you're by the king's side right now. If it wasn't for me, you'll still be in the streets, starving. All I wanted is for you to share some nights with me. And don't lie but you want them too, since the king barely gives you any attention."

You gulp. It's a mistake you've been doing again and again.

Bambam's smirk sends chills to your spine. "Now, if I tell him tomorrow that you came to my room and seduced me, completely disrespecting his one and only rule that you shall never look at someone else, what do you think will happen?"

"Please..." you clasp his hand tightly. "Please don't tell him. I'll do anything."

"That's what I want to hear," Bambam raises your hands and kiss your knuckles. "You shall spend tonight in my chambers. I'll keep our little secret if you fully surrender yourself to me."

You timidly nod, a tear escaping your left eye. To stay for a very long time beside Jinyoung means to throw your loyalty away for some nights. What an irony to his last words to you at the court earlier.


	16. Drabble #16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 46\. "I thought you said you love me?" + YOUNGJAE + Member says prompt

The table goes silent and one of your friends points behind you. You turn to see Youngjae storming to your direction, obviously upset about something. He walks towards you in determination; you stand up to wait for him.

"What do you mean we're breaking up?" his first words to you.

You hear the snickers from behind you, making you want to laugh too. But you compose yourself and try to appear concerned.

"What are you talking about?"

He shows you his phone. The message is simple and clear. _Let's break up. You're boring me._

"Ah," you nod in recognition. "Yeah, I meant it. Let's stop this. You're no fun anymore."

Youngjae's face drops in disbelief. "What?"

You sigh. "I thought you'll be interesting. You always hang out with the coolest guys. But you're just... you. You're sweet and understanding. You deserve someone who accepts you for who you are. And that's not me. I can't settle for sappy romance."

"But--But **I thought you said you love me**?"

There's a moment of silence until you finally let out a laugh. "What? And you believe that? Just how stupid can you be? Everyone says that, Choi Youngjae. It's the magic word for someone to give you what you want."

Seems like all his memories with you flash in his eyes that second. You only ever said you love him when you want him to buy things for you. There are times it slipped during your intimate moments, but that's because he's doing you the way you prefer. It's always been about getting what you want.

"But... I love you. What about what I want?"

You give him a sympathetic smile. "That spell only works for stupid people, Choi Youngjae. Let this be a lesson to you."


	17. Drabble #17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 49\. "I never really loved you." + JACKSON + His ex comes back

You bite your lip in anticipation. It's been a while since you and Jackson dined out. Recently, he's been too busy at work and couldn't even send you a message. You told yourself to be patient, and the reservation tonight must be your reward for it.

Jackson is a bit late though. You've already had two glasses of wine but he's still not answering your calls. It's impossible that he forgot about this because he was adamant earlier that you come. Maybe he's just full of work, like always. You can wait for him some more.

He arrives after two more hours.

"I am so sorry for being late," he immediately says, reaching for your hand.

"Oh, it's fine!" you assure him with a smile. "I know how busy you are and this place is good. I didn't get that bored."

He pats your hand and doesn't let go as he sits across you. You smile at his clinginess.

"Should we eat? It's pretty late. I'm sure you're hungry," you tell him.

He smiles. "Yes, let's eat first. I have something to tell you after."

You quirk a curious brow. "Really? Don't get my hopes up, Jackson. We're in an expensive restaurant and you're announcing something."

"Please, let's eat first. I want you to be full before I tell you."

Still suspecting, you nod and sign for the waiter. You order lots, given that you waited for a long time and is now famished. You barely converse with Jackson through the meal. You notice that he's not eating much.

"Are you okay? Is something wrong?" you reach out to touch his hand.

He gives you a forced smile. "I'll be fine. You go ahead and finish your food."

"I'm done with it. Would you like to tell me what this is about?"

Jackson takes a deep breath. He interlaces his fingers on yours. He looks really nervous and you can't help but anticipate.

"We've been going out for a year now," he starts. "And I want to thank you for staying beside me and helping me get back on my feet again. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you."

You nod. You think you know where this is going and your heart starts to flutter.

"You are an amazing person and I want you to have all the happiness and love you deserve."

You bite your lip. This is it.

"So tonight, I want you to know how I really feel. I want to be honest with you. I treasure you but I will accept whatever reaction you give me. If you want not to see me again, that's fine. If you'll hate me, I'll understand. What matters is that you know you're so much worth it and you deserve to know the truth."

"Okay, you're freaking me out," you try to laugh through the nerves.

But Jackson doesn't even try to smile. "I'm so sorry but I met Thea last week and I realised... **I never really loved you**. It's still her."

The world stops for you. Thea is Jackson's ex, the girl who left him broken. You did your best to help him through it. You and Jackson were just friends until he started relying to you for comfort. A night changed your friendship to something more and you thought Jackson has finally recovered from that heartbreak.

"I don't want to hurt you, but I also don't want to lie to you. You were so, so good to me and I appreciate it. I do love you, but not in the way we thought it is. I love you for being my best friend. I'd rather you hate me for admitting this than continue to use you. You deserve more than the half-assed love I offer."

He's looking at you with that same brokenhearted eyes. You used to console him whenever he blames himself over something.

But this time, it really is his fault.

You pull away from his hold and stand up blankly, grabbing your purse in the process.

"Please say something," he begs.

But you can't even look at him. You start to wonder your worth. Are you really just meant to be used? Why is he choosing someone who broke his heart over you who picked it all up?

"Don't leave like this," you feel Jackson grab your hand.

You swish it away but he catches it again. Frustrated, you pick up the glass of water near you and splash it to his face. He lets you go with a shriek.

"Don't touch me ever again."


	18. Drabble #18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 43\. "Why did you lie?" + YUGYEOM

You bite your lip and wait for him to say something. You've expected him to call you soon but you can't believe he still wanted to see you. You had wondered if asking you out is something of a closure for him but at the moment, he's sitting in front of you with that sweet smile you once adored. There's something wrong.

"I can't believe you did that for me," he says and reaches for your hand. He take it to his lips and kisses it lightly. "That was so brave of you."

"Huh?" you ask in confusion. You were anything but brave when you promised your brother that you won't see Yugyeom again. You're pretty sure the news reached him that's why you begged Jinyoung to give you one last chance to see him.

 **"Why did you lie?"** he asks, carressing your hand in gentle motions. "You could've just told him the truth and I'll fight with you. Why tell him that you'd avoid me from now on? Now we have to date in secret."

You blink. "Yugyeom, no. I didn't lie."

He laughs. "Yes, you did. If you meant it, you wouldn't be here."

"No," you hold his hand tighter and make him focus on your unwavering eyes. "Yugyeom, this is the last time I'm going to meet you. I didn't lie to Jinyoung. I am breaking up with you after this."

He stares at you blankly, letting it sink in. Then he laughs again, proving that he just doesn't get it. You take a deep breath. Yugyeom has a very pure and sensitive heart. You hate to break it, but he needs to understand that it's what you're exactly doing.

"Yugyeom, I can't see you anymore after this. I promised Jinyoung. I can't ruin your friendship. This is my fault. You don't have to forgive me. Just please understand what's really happening."

"Oh look, I'm laughing so hard, tears are coming out," he mumbles.

Then it hits you. He does understand. He's just in denial and trying his best to hold on. You let go of his hand and move to touch his face. His tears continually stream and you do your best to wipe them.

"Fuck bro code. Why can't I be with you just because he's my friend? Does he not trust me? I know I'm stupid sometimes but I can take care of you. You're not just some girl. I love you."

You let go of his face, as if you got burned. Your heart aches for him but you just have to say it. "I'm so sorry, Yugyeom. But this isn't your fault. He's not doing this for me. This is all for you."

He looks up to you with red eyes. "What do you mean?"

You bite your lip again. He deserves to know this. "I'm already seeing someone else the whole time I was... dating you and we just got engaged. That's why Jinyoung told me to stop hurting you."


	19. Drabble #19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 13\. "I hope you don't regret that." + JAEBEOM

There's just something about bad boys. Every girl has a weakness for them. Aesthetically, they look hot and mysterious with those leather jackets, piercings, tattoos, and swept up hair. And there's something that flutters in your stomach when the baddest boy in town whistles as you pass by. You know he probably just thinks your ass is hot, but he never made an actual move at you, so you take the compliment and leave unscarred.

Until he _does_ make a move and you're proven to be weak. You know that he just wants to have you for a moment; he'll undoubtedly drop you like his cigarette once you've burn out.

But do you really care? Does it really matter? In the heat of the moment, you shake your head to yourself.

 **"I hope you don't regret that,"** he says as he helps you up from the surface he bent you over.

Everything was fast and rough. All you can remember was pain and pleasure fused on your core as he thrusted into you. You can see the traces of blood on the floor, proving that he really got your first. You had always imagined it to be romantic, maybe on your wedding night after you've been in a relationship with someone for five years.

And yet there you were, losing your virginity at a pool table. You were never a good girl, but you were a good toy for him.

"I won't," you assure him, tiptoeing to reach his lips.

But that's not what you say to yourself three years later, with JB still running around town stealing people's hearts while you're merely just another badge for him.

You regret it. You regret it a lot. How you hope your first is as special to the one you shared it with.


	20. Drabble #20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 19\. "That's it? You expect me to believe that?" + JAEBEOM

You take a sharp breath when you find him outside your classroom. He's casually leaning on the wall, like the usual, but seeing him now just hurts you. You can't just walk to him with a smile and ask why he picked you up. To which he will answer that he has nothing to do so he thought he can just walk you home.

No. That can't happen again. You stupidly enjoyed all of those moments thinking it means something to him.

Before you can stealthly avoid him by walking in the middle of all other students, you feel his hand on your arm, firmly rooting you to where you stand.

"There you are. Where are you going?"

You steal a glance from him but scold yourself quickly. No, you musn't look at his face. You'll lose the very little strength you have. "I, uh, have piano lessons so I need to go home."

"You're excited for the piano lessons you've been complaining about the past month?"

You bite your lip. Damn you for opening up to him. You don't know what excuse to use anymore.

"You've been avoiding me," he declares in a cold tone. "Why? Did I do anything?"

"No, I was just busy from school. I can't afford to have my grades lower," you reason, hoping that it being partialy true makes it more believable.

" **That's it? You expect me to believe that?** " he says with a bit of chuckle. Indeed, you can't say anything that will sate his curious mind. "I bet you can perfect whatever tests given to you right now. You study a grade advance, not even a chapter. I'm sure you can spare some time to hang out with me."

"Bet..." you repeat gravely. "You like betting, don't you, JB? What did you bet with your friends when they dared you to make me fall in love with you?"

He lets go of your hand, as if he's been burned. You turn to him and look in his shocked, guilty eyes. These are the eyes you thought saw you as someone special. But turns out, these are the eyes of a liar who's just playing a game.

"How did you..."

You smile sadly. "So it is true. I had hoped those girls were just trying to make me stay away from you. I avoided you for a week so I can find strength to ask you directly. Guess that's my answer."

He opens his mouth and closes it again, not finding the right words just yet. You shake your head and walk pass by him. Seeing your leaving figure triggers him again.

"Wait, yes, it was a bet, but I do like you now," he says, standing in front of you to prevent you from leaving. "After I spent time with you, I realised you're amazing and it's fun being with you. They don't even know I'm here right now. I just really want to talk to you."

You sigh. " **That's it? You expect me to believe that**?" He frowns at your mocking. "Then explain to me why those two morons are behind the bush, taking a video of us."

JB turns to see Yugyeom and Bambam nearby, getting an evidence for the bet as JB instructed earlier. When he looks back in front of him, you're not there anymore. He wildly scratches his head.

_There goes my $200._


	21. Drabble #21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 21\. "After all that we've been through?" + YOUNGJAE

Youngjae swears he didn't mean it, and you should know that too. Your relationship has been in the rocks ever since he starts spending less and less time with you. You thought you're used to it; you've been together for years. But he's distant even if he's with you, so here you go arguing about it.

You don't even know who started screaming, but soon enough, the house is full of words you know you will regret later. You tell him how selfish he is, how neglected you are. And he tells you how you're actually needy and he thought you already understand how important his career is.

You start humiliating his masculinity, saying that he doesn't even satisfy you in bed anymore. It triggers something inside him, and he raises his hand up.

You flinch and curl yourself, bracing for the impact. A dead silence follows; you think you both stop breathing.

"Did you... did you think I will hit you?" his voice breaks. "Did you actually think I will hurt you?"

You look up and find him confused. You understand then that he threw his hand up out of frustration.

" **After all that we've been through?** " Youngjae looks betrayed. "You really think I can lay a hand on you?"

"I don't know," you answer tiredly. "I don't know anymore, Youngjae. You haven't been really with me for the past months. You're... like a stranger to me now."

He shakes his head in disbelief. He looks at his hands. Yes, he hits people when he's amused and you've been a victim of that for a couple of times. But he will never do that to you in an argument. He will never do it willingly.

Have you really lost understanding to each other?

"I'm sorry," he looks down. "I'm sorry I scared you. I think... we should take a break and sort things out when we're calm."

You nod mutely, standing up from the corner. You wonder how to get past this hurdle when all that's left to hold you are memories of a love.


	22. Drabble #22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 25\. "You didn't have to break my heart." + JAEBEOM

You find yourself forgiving him even if he didn't have the decency to tell you directly and wouldn't have probably admitted it if you didn't ask. You find yourself forgiving him even though he didn't really apologised; after all, the promise of trying to be better is more important.

You find yourself forgiving him, but you just need a few more answers before closing what happened as another necessary chapter of your relationship.

"Just tell me honestly," you say calmly after he begged you to take him back and you find yourself nodding. "How was it with her?"

JB looks up to you in shock. He probably thought you would ask him why he did it. Why he cheated on you when you've been nothing but loyal and faithful. But you don't need a reason or an excuse; that means he will have the chance to put the blame on you. You're having none of that. What you want is to know how he feels about what he did.

"Was she good? Was she _better_?" you specify. "What you did broke my trust so it will be best to just tell me the truth now."

"She was... different," he answers quietly, avoiding your eyes. "She's not like you."

Different. If he was able to cheat on you, then that difference must be so much better. You laugh bitterly. "Wow. I just asked for honesty. **You didn't have to break my heart**."

"No, it's not like that. I just... wanted to feel something new and... she was there. But now I know that you're the one who will still accept me in the end. You're the one who loves me more."

And that's what's sad about this, isn't it? You love him more than he loves you. You love him more than anyone, even yourself. So you find yourself forgiving him even if you're also the one who hurts more.

This difference is so much worse.


	23. Drabble #23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 2\. "I don't need your explanation." + MARK + Angst with Happy Ending

He found you. After days of running away and getting a bit of relief thinking that he's finally given up looking for you, he arrives at your front door. Seeing him now brings more ache in your heart, overpowering your longing and urge to hold him in your arms.

"Come home to me, babe," he says, reaching out to touch your face.

You immediately step back. "No, Mark. You have to leave. Stop looking for me. This will make things worse."

"Nothing's worse than the one you love leaving you in the middle of the night." He takes a step in your little hideout, locking the door behind him.

You shake your head and try to create more distance. "You don't understand, Mark. I was sent to kill you, if it wasn't obvious last night. You remember the knife I'm about to stab you with?"

"Yes. And I remember how your hand trembled and I was woken by dripping tears."

You feel your back hit the wall. Mark only needs two steps to trap you on that spot. But his mere stare is making you motionless even now. "My job is to kill you. I was raised in a dark world and I feel nothing but bloodlust that's why--"

"Okay, **I don't need your explanation** about that," he cuts you out. "I get it. You're an assassin and like the others, you tried to kill me. But you're the only one I didn't have to fight off because you yourself couldn't do it. That is the one you have to explain."

You breathe out sharply. "I don't know how to explain it."

He takes the last steps securing you. "Tell me you love me."

"I don't," you lie through gritted teeth. Your body is betraying you.

He puts his hands on your either side, effectively trapping you. "You think you can still lie to me? I knew from the very start that you were planning to kill me, but I spent every night after with you. Stop it now, baby girl. Say that you love me and I'll get you out of this mess."

You wanted to uphold your pride. If you would die from disobeying an order, this order, then you would die happy. Months with Mark proved that he didn't deserve to die just from stealing money from your boss, who also got it through illegal means. He is a modern Robin Hood. It's an honour to save him.

But he sees your distraction and decides to take you back to reality with a kiss. It was that familiar deep kiss that makes you feel vulnerable. It wasn't that hard to pretend that you loved him in order to do the mission. Because now you were more than just in love with him. God damn, you'd risk your life for him.

"I don't love you," you insist, breathless from the kiss.

But Mark smiles and carresses your face. "That's alright. _I_ love _you_ so I'd also save you."


	24. Drabble #24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 40\. "If you still love me, you'll do this." + JINYOUNG + Angst with Happy Ending

You sit beside him, completely terrified of whatever his reaction will be. The words are simple but the situation can go completely wrong. He knows you like living on the edge but this prank might be the last straw before he gives up your childish ass and you're left broken by your own fault.

"Say that again. Mean it this time," he says, not bothering to look up from the newpaper he's reading. But you can see that his eyes aren't moving. He heard it but he's in denial.

"Jinyoung, it's true. I'm not happy with you anymore. I would like for us to cool off for the meantime," you repeat, this time hoping you're more believable. " **If you still love me, you'll do this**. You'll let me go and--"

"Fine," he puts down his newspaper and finally looks at you. His eyes are trying to be void but there's a hint of hurt in them. "Let's talk about this crazy little idea of yours. You're saying that we should break up since I'm not making you happy. I'm sorry if that's the case. I know I don't express it very well, but I had hoped you can feel it through everything else. I promise to be better and start telling you about how I feel more. But don't ever for a second think that I will let you go this easily. Not until you give me a chance to make up first. Who knows what can happen during our breakup? What if you start dating that stupid friend of mine who suggested you do this prank just to make me say I love you?"

Your eyes widen. "You knew?"

He merely raises a brow. "Bambam told me that I should express myself more because you looked so insecure of my love for you. It's such a coincidence that you're saying this to me right now, right? Especially since you hang out with the good-for-nothing maknaes yesterday."

"I'm sorry," you mumble, close to tears. You had prepared yourself if it would go wrong, but this is completely different. Jinyoung promised you to be better despite knowing that you're just kidding. "You don't have to do those. I love you just as you are and I know that you're way of loving is silent. I'm stupid for trying to fool you."

"No," he reaches out to put you in his arms. "You deserve to hear it too. I love you. I hope this prank never really come true. I can't imagine my life without you."

Indeed, nothing beats his beautiful words.


	25. Drabble #25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 40\. "If you still love me, you'll do this." + BAMBAM + Angst with Happy Ending

You just wanted to unwind a bit, having been stuck on your apartment for weeks now after your breakup with Bambam. It had been over something stupid but you were on a bad mood and some lines were crossed. Neither of you two reached out to say sorry, as expected, and you spent the past days wallowing about how you let go of someone who can understand your crazy.

But the plan to unwind gets out of hand. You knew your drunken habits but you had hoped your friends would stop you from embarrassing yourself. Looks like they didn't because you find yourself being dragged out of the bar.

The cold air hits your barely clothed body. Bambam, who looks like he's about to explode of his anger, lets go of your arm once you're out of the noisy, suffocating place. He eyes you in disgust, making you shiver even harder.

"I told you not to wear those kind of clothes," he says through gritted teeth, trying so hard not to scream at you. But he takes his jacket of and secure it around you.

"Why do you care? We've broken up, right?" you bravely say.

But he scoffs at you. "You have the nerve to remind me that when you called me five minutes ago saying that you can't let me go?"

You gasp. "I did not!"

"Yugyeom recorded it. I can send it to you tomorrow morning," he challenges. "But for now, I'll take you home."

"Wait, you can't do that," you jerk away from his hold. "I was having fun with some guys inside! If you're sad because you broke up with me, then go inside and find some girl too!"

"Are you fucking out of your mind?! They were looking at you like you're a piece of meat and you're enjoying that?! I get that you want to have fun, but don't do something you would regret!"

"Nothing is more regretful than breaking up with you, dumbass! I can do whatever I want now! You can find a better girl inside too, I'm sure!"

Bambam's patience has reached its limit. "Fine. I'll let you go tomorrow. I won't bother you again. But tonight, I need to make sure you're okay. You told me to come here so I'm doing this one last thing for you."

It's the alcohol, you swear, that causes you to tear up. His words of finality hit you hard. "No... I don't want that. Please don't leave me. I love you."

He breathes deep. He wonders just how you manage to make him crazy with everything you do. "Then **if you still love me, you'll do this**. You'll let me take you home and make me stop worrying how many cases I'll face from punching those assholes staring at you earlier. Do you think you can do that?"

You nod silently. He takes your hand and pulls you to the car. You usually don't remember things the next day when you get this drunk, but you'll never forget the warm feeling inside you.


	26. Drabble #26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 45\. "You're a monster!" + JACKSON + Jackson's unwanted violent revenge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Mention of violence. Yandere!Jackson (?)

To be honest, it's not what he's doing that scared you. You know that Jackson is ready to fight whoever dares to hurt you. While the stranger didn't lay a finger on you, he did creepily follow you home and make you feel uncomfortable. You immediately shouted for Jackson's help when you get in the house.

But none of those is the reason you're crying right now. You look at Jackson's bloody hands and while you do worry that some of those are his, his expression is what sends you to tears. He's _smiling_. He's enjoying how the stalker's face is contorted in pain. He doesn't hear your pleas to stop because it's enough. He's hell bent on making sure the man won't be able to do that again. He's hell bent to kill him.

You call the police. They arrive and you explain what happened, exaggerating a bit to excuse Jackson's erratic behaviour. Your boyfriend is given first aid and you're told to come to the station the next day. You now sit in silence after the authorities have left.

"Are you okay?" Jackson asks and tries to hold you.

You jerk away. You can't even look at him right now.

"I'm so sorry for what happened, baby. It's alright now. I will make sure no one hurts you so I'll come with you everywhere you go. Don't worry."

"No!" you scream in horror. You stand up to creat distance. "Are you out of your mind? You almost killed that guy! You didn't stop even though I was begging you. You think I'm alright after witnessing such violence?"

He stands up and almost innocently follows you. But you've seen his true form and you can't bare to have him close

"I'm sorry you had to see that. I just want to protect you," he says in full sincerity. He manages to convince himself that it's for your good.

" **You're a monster**!" you inform. "I don't know how I can still be with you after seeing that!"

"No!" he quickly crosses your distance. You feel his tight grip on your wrist before you realise it. "You are not leaving me!"

"Jackson," you say through gritted teeth. His hand will make a mark, you're sure. "Let me go."

"I won't," he pulls you to him and leans down your ear, "you'll never get away from me."


	27. Drabble #27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 5\. "Lie to me again." + YOUNGJAE

Youngjae leans back on the door, his uncontrollable heavy breaths worrying you. You remember he's new on the field so this is the most intense action he's experienced. He reloads his gun and curses, realising that it's his last magazine.

"Has you friend called yet?" he asks, still looking out for the coming enemies.

You frustatedly stare at your phone. "No and I have a bad feeling. What if Jackson got caught too?"

Youngjae turns to you. You're close to breaking down. Earlier, you had been brave enough to come up with a way to distract the police and criminals all coming at you. You held on to the hope that Jackson, the only one you can trust right now, will soon show up and get you out of the mess. Now you're back to your meek self. Like how he found you.

You look at your stash. You only have three more sets of knives; you're not a gun person. There's a flash grenade on your belt, but you need the perfect moment to use it.

You hear footsteps coming. You pull Youngjae to the farthest part of the rooftop. You're forty feet above the ground and though you've done this stunt before, you don't have your brother to help you fake your death.

"Hey," Youngjae tugs on your hand when he sees you looking down, as if measuring the fall. "Do you think Jaebeom-hyung will take care of Coco even though I betrayed him and he's more of a cat person?"

Even at the darkest time, he remains the sunshine that lightens up everything. You give him a smile. "Coco will be fine."

"What about us? Will we be fine?"

Your smile drops. You can see in his eyes that he knows how this will end. He betrayed the police by helping you escape and now a team led by your past co-worker, Jinyoung, also wants to kill you.

"Come on, **lie to me again**. I don't hate you for pretending that you lost your memory. I won't hate you for saying we'll survive this. At least I'll have something to hold on to."

You pull him for a kiss, the only true answer you can give him. You hope he feels your desperation and uncertainty.

The door bursts and you hear Jaebeom's voice commanding you to freeze. You throw them the grenade and let yourself fall down with Youngjae. He holds you close to him, trying to protect you from the impact. You silently pray. Only Youngjae can make a big sinner like you pray.


	28. Drabble #28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 16\. “So this is how it ends?” + JACKSON + Cheating

Disappointed but not surprised. That's what you felt when a friend said Jackson tried to make a move on her. You knew a deep relationship wouldn't last if you're dealing with a Wang Jackson. People who say they love you only after a week of meeting you would fall out of love much faster than that.

And he tried to cheat on you with a friend? What an asshole.

You had hoped you would be out of the house when Jackson gets home, but you still met him on the hallway. Tracy said she firmly rejected her advances, so maybe Jackson came home empty-handed.

His eyes went wide when he saw you. "Babe, what's that? Where are you going? Why do you have that luggage?"

You ignored him, passed by him as if he's nothing but thin air. He immediately grabbed your arm and yanked you back.

"Babe, what's wrong—?"

The hand he wasn't holding flew to his cheek. Jackson stumbled a few steps backward from the impact.

"What was that for?!" he asked while soothing his cheek.

"That's for making me trust you."

"What?! Why would you slap me for that—"

You used your other hand, the one he neglected, to slap his other cheek. "That's for breaking that trust."

He stared at you, guilt evident on his face. "What—But—Nothing happened! I told her—"

"I already know, Tracy told me everything!"

"The fuck did she tell you? That I told her to get off me because you're the one I love? Why am I getting two slaps for that?!"

You scoffed. "Are you telling me that my friend is lying to me?! She said the opposite! You're the one who forgot that you're supposed to be in love and loyal to me!"

"And you believed that more than you believe me?!"

"Why shouldn't I? I barely see you these days! All I get are your lame excuses about being at work!"

He looked at you in disbelief. You felt slight guilt and worry. You had been feeling neglected so hearing that Jackson was out there cheating had been an explanation. But you didn't give him a benefit of the doubt.

And as he took a box from his pocket and threw it on the floor, another reason you overlook came to mind.

"I'm sorry that I'm always out with my friends to plan a proposal. If I told you about it, you wouldn't have believed it—just as you obviously don't believe that I love you. So I made those lame excuses and tried to wait for the right time when to tell you that I'm done with the parties and would like to spend the rest of my life with you."

Your heart sank. You were obviously not ready for that.

Jackson smiled bitterly. "So this is how it ends?"

"Jackson, I—"

"I'm sorry too," he went to your shared room and locked it. You had left your key inside.


	29. Drabble #29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 4\. “How long are you planning to hide it?” + MARK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! Might be triggering

You found Mark sitting on the couch, his head hanging low. You could see him playing with a familiar piece of paper. Maybe it was because you spent so much time staring at it in disbelief so the mere silhouette of the report made you feel like crying again. You weren’t really surprised that he found it. Maybe you were asking for this day to come.

“How long are you planning to hide it?” he asked without looking at you, rereading the words again.

“I wasn’t,” you replied calmly, still fixed on your spot by the door. “I was just looking for the right time.”

Mark nodded. He calmly put the paper down on the bed and stood up. You watched him walk to his work table, where his brand new computer sat.

“Care to tell me why you were so afraid? Didn’t you think I would listen?”

You looked away. The words were hard to say but you’re done keeping them. "I thought you weren’t ready yet. You’re at the peak of your career and you’re still having fun with life. It wasn’t that I think you’re not going to be a good dad, Mark. I just don’t want you to face it now. You have a bright future ahead of you.”

He went silent. You wondered if you phrased it right. When you found out you were pregnant, of course you wanted to tell Mark right away. It was the best news you could have ever received.

But when you came home and he welcomed you with his brightest smile, saying he had a new computer installed so he could play to his heart’s content during his free time from work, your faith faltered. Mark Tuan had to give up a normal adolescence in order to be where he is right now. If you were to push the pregnancy, he would be forced to take responsibility. He wouldn’t have the chance to enjoy these little things anymore.

You heard a crash. A screamed erupted from the back of your throat when you saw his computer on the floor. You ran to help Mark pick up the pieces, but he swept them off the table on purpose and made sure it wouldn’t work again by stepping on the parts.

“What are you doing?!” you pulled him away from the mess, concerned that he would hurt himself.

He slumped on the bed and you noticed his tears. “That was my baby! Why didn’t you tell me we were having a baby? I would give up everything to hold him!”

You immediately choke on your tears. You had never been so wrong. It hurt to have the baby taken from you, but you held on to your decision that Mark would like it that way. Seeing that he was hurting for someone he didn’t even knew was there, you were so wrong.

“I’m sorry…” you could only say as you hold him.


	30. Drabble #30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 39\. "Stop running away!" + MARK

You try to stealthily get your clothes from the walk-in-closet. You passed by a sleeping Mark in the bedroom, so you have to be careful not to wake him. It's not only because you're avoiding another confrontation with him. You also heard how he's been restless from trying to find where you're staying at, in addition to his never-ending workload.

You fill your bag with whatever your hands reach. You don't spare time to check if it's your shirt or Mark's; you wear either anyway. You try to breathe evenly, even though your heart is heavily thumping.

A touch on your shoulder elicits a gasp from you.

"Where have you been?" Mark's dangerous low voice asks you.

You turn to him guiltily. You don't know what to do now. You step away from his touch and hit the pile of clothes with your leg.

"Why are you taking your clothes?" he asks upon noticing the overflowing bag behind you. "What are you trying to do?"

"I'm trying," you carefully start, "to give us time to sort things out. It would be better to stay away from each other until you figure out what the problem is."

"What am I supposed to figure out? Why can't you just tell me the problem?"

"Because if you care, you would know what's wrong. I wouldn't have to tell you. I don't know if you're not acknowledging it, or you just don't care." You grab your bag and zip it. You put it over your shoulder and walk pass by him. You instantly feel his tight hold on your arm.

"God damn it, **stop running away!** " he says and pulls you into a hug.

You stay in his arms motionless. You're not running away. You just need time. Time to accept the fact that you will always be his second priority. It would have been easier if there's another person to be jealous at, but no. Your rival is his work. And knowing that he's passionate of what he's doing, you can't tell him straight that you're feeling neglected. It's not like he can just quit and give all his time to you. But knowing his stubbornness, he will always, always choose it over you.

"I'm not running away," you say. "I'm just slipping away from your hold, because you're chasing something else."


	31. Drabble #31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 44\. "I wish I'd never met you." + MARK

You have always thought that unsaid words would be your biggest regrets, that's why you try to say whatever's on your mind. Mark is always there to listen, and maybe he listens too intently sometimes, that he ends up absorbing anything you say. It was a spur of moment when you said the words. But with him looking up at you blankly, you wish you never even thought of saying them.

 **"I wish I'd never met you,"** you told Mark after causing a scene at a restaurant. It's only later that you found out that the girl he's with was a client, and not his side chick, like you suspected.

Mark frantically searched for you when you didn't come home that night. You were peacefully sleeping at your best friend's living room when he met an accident on the road. You turned on your phone after a good sleep that cleared your mind. You were ready to apologise to Mark for not hearing him out. But instead, you had to face countless messages from his family and friends telling you the bad news.

You immediately came to the hospital when his mother texted you that he regained consciousness. He underwent a dangerous head surgery after hitting his head hard. A mixture of worry, guilt, and happiness filled you as you enter the room.

But the lights you have always seen in his eyes weren't there. You looked at him and didn't see _your_ Mark.

He asked softly who you were, shocking everyone.

You're the only one he doesn't remember. For him, you've never met. Your wish came true.

 


	32. Drabble #32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 7\. "Why did you do it?" + JACKSON

"Yah!" you shout at the man picking flowers from your garden. You finally find him after months of wondering who takes your flowers without permission.

"Hi!" he greets with a smile, even waving with the hand holding the flowers.

You walk to him briskly. You stop right in front of him and try to intimidate him with your glare. "You. **Why did you do it?** "

He blinks innocently. "Huh?"

You point at the flowers in his hands. "Why do you keep on taking my flowers?! Don't you know how hard it is to plant them? I can give them to you if you ask nicely, but no, you steal them shamelessly! How could you do that to something so beautiful?!"

He opens his mouth to reason, but can't say a word. He looks at the flowers in his hands and smile sadly, confusing you.

"Yes, they are beautiful," he says softly. "And they're very rare so I had a hard time finding them."

"Yes. So, you understand why I'm so upset that I don't know where they've gone, right? Where are you taking them, huh? Tell me, or I'll file a restraining order and you won't be able to get near my garden for the rest of your life!"

He scratches the back of his head. "Okay. If you say so."

***

You stare at the marble in front of you. You look at the man you followed and he's looking at it with a longing.

"It was her favourite flower," he says and looks at you. "She said she wants our wedding to be filled with that flower, so we travelled around to find an abundance of them."

You watch him crouch to brush away some leaves that landed on the grave. "Did you find them?"

"I did," he stands up to face you. "But she isn't here to see them anymore."

 


	33. Drabble #33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 52\. “Why did I even trust you?” + MARK

You try to keep yourself small as you enter the cafeteria. It's filled with various students, and you never really had a problem with them because of your best friend. Mark is like the guardian angel who protects you from harm—no one dares to cross you because he's always by your side.

But not today. And not again. Not ever.

You spot a vacant seat somewhere far from the middle. The largest table is now occupied by Mark and his best friends, the seven of them composing the dance team of your school. Right next to them are the popular girls, who don't think someone as simple as you should be close with any of the boys. It was only because they know Mark will hate them that they didn't try to do anything to you.

You feel something cold hit the top of your head and it flows through your face. A slushie. You close your eyes and hold your breath so you wouldn't cry. You knew it would happen. Why did you even go to the cafeteria?

"Oh, sweetie," a girl's voice says from behind you. You don't look back so she herself goes in front of you. "That's what happens if you're on the way."

If it isn't very humiliating yet, you see some of Mark's friends noticing the scene and pointing at you. Mark meets your eyes. That's when you decide it's too much and you need to run away.

Mark finds you at the school greenhouse. You used to hangout with him there, but now that he's with his popular group, you're always just alone.

 **"Why did I even trust you?"** you question blankly when he arrives in front of you. "I should have known you're more loyal to them now."

He looks at you guiltily. He sits down in front of you, where he used to be. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to tell them that you like Jinyoung. It just slipped when we were playing around."

"Well, look at me now," you open your arms to let him see your ruined uniform. You have a quiz later, but with how you look, you wouldn't be able to attend the rest of your classes. "You should have thought what would happen to me before you told them."

Mark takes his shirt off, leaving the plain tee underneath, and passes it to you. You look at him in disbelief. He can't be expecting you to accept it. You'll get even more shit.

"I'll talk to them. I'll tell them to stop bothering you or else I'll leave the group."

You scoff. "For me? Are you kidding? That was your dream ever since. You have a competition coming up. The boys aren't the one making me suffer so don't leave them."

"What should I do then?" he runs a hand through his hair in frustration. "I can't let you think I don't care."

"Tell them that Jinyoung flatly rejected me already because I'm apparently very boring. Tell them they are right, I shouldn't dream of dating him. Tell them the truth."

Mark's forehead creases. He didn't know Jinyoung already talked to you. It upsets him to see you think little of yourself because of a guy not liking you back and those girls feeding your insecurities.

And maybe Mark is most hurt that you had to experience all of this because of him.

"But she likes Jinyoung so I can't do anything," Mark had told Jackson when the latter wouldn't stop asking why Mark wasn't making a move on you despite harbouring feelings all these years.

Had Mark been braver, you wouldn't go through rejection for his sake, and he would have the right to protect you from anything and anyone.


	34. Drabble #34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 5\. “Lie to me again.” + YUGYEOM

“Everything will be fine,” Yugyeom always says. It’s what made you fell for him. You needed his positivity to keep on living.

But as you sit across him in the doctor’s office and listen to the reason why he’s been having terrible headaches and collapsing randomly, it’s hard to have faith. Even the optimistic Yugyeom hasgone out of the window. His grip on your hand is tight.

“It’s a fifty-fifty chance, so I’ll let you think about it for a while,” the doctor concludes after an elaborate explanation of Yugyeom’s condition. You thank him for the two of you and help Yugyeom out of the room.

He remains passive, and you don’t really want to look at him and tell him it’s going to be okay. If it was Yugyeom who will say the words, they would always come true. He was an angel who assured you safety.

Maybe that’s why heaven wants him back. It’s just too soon for you.

“Hey,” you stop in the middle of the busy hallway. While everyone passes by, all you can think about is the quickly passing time. “You know what you always say in these dark moments, right? Everything will be fine?”

Yugyeom stares at you. He can’t even open his mouth to repeat it.

 **“Lie to me again.** Lie to me like you always do. Even if it doesn’t turn out fine, at least we’ll have the guts to try.”

But Yugyeom doesn’t say anything. He pulls you to his arms and holds you tight. It doesn’t assure you anything, maybe it even scared you.

Angels can’t lie, you learn. They hope, but in this case, he can’t even.


	35. Drabble #35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 12\. "You're wrong." + YOUNGJAE

You look up to him, trying to gather all your strength to say the words. It's been a wonderful month going out with Youngjae. It started with a project you had to work on as partners, then you get along really well to the point of hanging out without your other friends.

Tonight, he asked you to come see a movie with him, because the other boys didn't want to watch something childish. You know how Youngjae can be a little shy, so you decide to make a move for the two of you.

"If you have something to say, just know that I feel the same way. You don't have to be scared," you try to encourage him subtly.

Youngjae stares at you. He looks confused for a moment, until he gets an epiphany from the way you look. "You also... feel the same way?"

You shyly nod. Even though he's surrounded by guys with much more strong presence, it's the calmness in Youngjae that drew you in. You love how he's just in the background and supporting other people. He never competes for the spotlight. He shines with his own simplicity.

"Thank God," Youngjae lets out a relieved sigh. "I really don't know how to keep this up. Jackson refuses to understand that it's not working. I mean, you're a great girl. But I just can't see you as someone special, because I'm not looking for a relationship right now. You're just like the guys for me, a really good friend. He needs to accept that."

You blink. He... doesn't see you as someone special? You're a really good friend? You are obviously not on the same page. "So you mean... you don't like me?"

"No, **you're wrong**. I do like you! But not in the way Jackson expects me to like you," he says nonchalantly. Then he smiles, that vibrant smile of his, making your heart ache. "I'm really glad we feel the same way. Maybe we can finally stop pretending to go on dates and just tell Jackson that it wasn't working out. He'll have to accept that since it's from the two of us. What do you think?"

You can't even think of anything. You don't know how to accept it yourself.


	36. Drabble #36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 39\. “Stop running away!” + BAMBAM

His hand is tight around yours as you make your way through the woods. You can barely see where you're going, but you've surrendered everything to him when you said yes. It's been a long time hiding, and you knew you would be found soon. But instead of giving up, you decide to run.

"Stop running away!" your father's booming voice echoes everywhere, causing birds to fly away in fear. He has never raised his voice when talking to you, the king who was only soft for his princess. You're sure he wouldn't hurt you if you stop running.

But the man in front of you will die. "Bam-ah."

Bambam looks back to you, his face evident of exhaustion and fear. Yet he's beautiful. No opposing political views could have stopped you from falling for him.

"I'm sorry you had to go through this," he says with rugged breath. You've been running for what seems like hours.

You shake your head and hold his hand tighter. "Are we going to get through this?"

Bambam turns to the indefinite way again. You know he's about to lie. "Of course. We always do."

But he halts abruptly as the galloping of horses gets near. It comes from the front. You can't go on anymore. Bambam protectively shields you for whatever is about to happen.

Your father appears from behind the trees. He gets off his horse and signals the men from behind you. You feel yourself being forced off Bambam. Before you can call out his name, one of the knights hit him on the stomach with a sword's hilt. Your call turns to shriek.

"Don't hurt him!" you beg. "Please, father! I-I love him!"

"Love doesn't stop war, my princess," your father reaches for your face.

You turn away, disgusted that he acts caring while Bambam is bleeding behind him.

His mouth turns to a straight line at your rejection. "Cut the act now. You've done your mission. The blue prince is in our hands. The red queen shall reign over everything."

You catch Bambam's betrayed gaze. Right. It's your fault from the very beginning. You needed to capture their heir so you can ensure winning against the war. And what's the best way of making someone fall if not to make them fall in love?


	37. Drabble #37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 20\. “Please. I’ll have nothing.” + YOUNGJAE + Angst with Happy Ending

The inevitable has come. It takes great resolution for someone not to give in. Especially if they're on a friends-with-benefits relationship with Choi Youngjae. He makes people fall without meaning it. You thought you're strong enough to resist, but your will can't rival his charms.

"What do you mean this is the last?" he asks. His hand stops making lazy circles on your arms, so he can look at you better.

You breathe out. It's hard to lie to him, but at least you can save face. "I mean, this started as a dare. You wanted to prove to me that you're not as innocent as they tease you to be. And I get it now. There's no point in continuing."

He frowns. He seems to not get it. "But... I like being with you. Don't you... enjoy this?"

Oh, if only he knows. That enjoyment has grown to something stronger that now it's just making you feel empty.

Soon, you stand up and get ready to leave. You're going to miss the secret sessions, but it's time to go back to how it used to be.

If you can go back, that is. You feel like you'll be losing him once you walk out the door.

"Wait," he holds your arm as you pick up your bag.

You look to him with no expectations. Surely he's not going to stop you. "Yes?"

"If you really don't want to be like this anymore," he starts tentatively, but finds courage as he goes. He looks at you with that adorable eyes you fell for. He's pleading. "Can I ask you out properly now?"

"What?"

Youngjae gently pulls you to sit on the edge of the bed. He properly holds your hand and stares at you with sincerity. "This started as a bet. You wanted me to prove that I'm not naïve like they said. So now, I won and you owe me a favour."

"And your consequence is for me to go out with you?"

"Yes."

You open your mouth to say something, but you're entirely confused. Did he perhaps fell for you just like how you fell for him?

" **Please. I'll have nothing** if we stop this. So why don't we start something else?"

It doesn't make any sense, but you're sure there's only one answer to that.

"Yes," you breathe out. "God damn, you never fail to surprise me."

Youngjae chuckles and pulls you into a hug. You may have lost the battle, but you won the war.


	38. Drabble #38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 35\. “Please don’t make his any harder.” + YOUNGJAE + Angst with Happy Ending

You hear the door opening, so you turn to the other side. You don't want to see him. Since he agreed to this ridiculous setup, he must be thinking you're an object. A trophy wife. Your pride can't handle that.

The bed dips from the other side. You close your eyes and wish he wouldn't force you to do anything. He looked like a decent person earlier; maybe that's why your parens agreed to sell you to him. Not only will he be able to pay all your father's debt from gambling, he'll also be able to take care of you.

At least you wish.

"I'm just getting my pillows," you hear him say. So he knows you're not asleep.

You don't reply, but you're wondering why he's getting his pillows. You're married now, and no one's going to stop him from doing anything to you. He paid for you anyway.

"I'll see you tomorrow. I hope you'll have breakfast with me. We need to talk about some things."

You grit your teeth. Tomorrow must be the start of hell then.

"Are you really asleep?"

Your heartbeat quickens when you feel him walk around the bed to see you from the other side. You're a bad liar; you can't act like you're sleeping. But you also don't want to talk to him. Can't he just leave you alone?

"I'll leave you then. Have a good sleep," he says softly and from your lids, you understand that he turned the lamplight off.

You listen to his leaving footsteps and only open your eyes when you're sure he's out of the room. You hold the blanket tighter around you.

 ** _Please don't make this any harder_** , you think. _Please don't be kind, so I can have a reason to hate you._


	39. Drabble #39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 36\. “I’m so, so sorry.” + YOUNGJAE + Angst with Happy Ending

  
"She's been with me my whole life," you reminisce while staring at nowhere. You feel Youngjae hold your hand. "And she left me right when I was about to marry you."

Youngjae carefully wipes the tear that still comes out of your eye. You're already done with your hair and make up; you're already wearing your gown. You'll be marrying Youngjae in about an hour, but you received a sudden news.

Your dog has died.

She's been there for you ever since. She's even the reason why you met the love of your life. Hath Cookie, your dog, didn't take liking on Coco, Youngjae's dog, you wouldn't have been able to talk to the cute guy you always see at the park.

You're marrying the guy now. And Cookie has left you right before.

" **I'm so, so sorry** ," Youngjae says. "We can... delay the wedding, if you want to."

You turn to him in panic. Youngjae has always been the one to understand you the most. Look, he's even willing to adjust the wedding so you can mourn for your pet. He's heaven sent. "No. We don't have to. If you think about it, Cookie is already old. She endured all these years to make sure I won't be alone. And she left today, when you're going to promise that you would take care of me forever. I think she's handing me over to you. She's letting me go... to you."

"Oh, baby," he holds your face and gives you a quick kiss. "We won't let her down. We will get married today, and I won't let Cookie down. I will take care of you, til death do we part!"

You smile and wipe the last tear you'll be shedding today. You offer a hand to Youngjae. "Come on. Let's get married!"


	40. Drabble #40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 29\. “Where were you when I needed you the most?” + JAEBEOM

It's been years since you last had JB like this—beside you, looking up at the stars as you talk about life and everything entailed to it. He doesn't look like the boy you were madly in love with back in high school, but it doesn't change the fact that he is your first love. Destiny wasn't kind to you then—you had to part with him because he will be going to the city to pursue his career.

You shake your head to yourself. No. It's just right. You were both too young then. You would have only regretted holding him back to being where he is right now.

He's right back beside you. Destiny is giving you a second chance.

Your phone rings and the caller ID pulls you back to reality. Actually, it slaps you back. This isn't a cliched romance book where after all trials, they would happily be together.

This is life. It's made of choices and memories that will either bring you happiness or regret.

"Is that your husband?" JB asks, seeing the caller's picture on your phone. It's from your prenuptial shoot.

Four years after JB left, you met your husband. He was the one who helped you through a very painful part of your life. He gave you safety and security, the one thing you can never hope from JB's unpredictable career.

JB stands up from the wooden floor you're sitting on. It creaks a bit, reminding you of how long it's really been since you met him at this docks.  "You should go. We've already talked about everything and we can still catch up whenever you're free."

You smile sadly. You told yourself earlier that you would use this day to close the past. Yes, JB has come back, but things aren't the same. Too many things had happened, making this a chance to end things rather than to start again.

"I won't be seeing you again after this," you admit to him. "I only need you to answer this question, then we can part ways again—now with no regrets about how we chose different paths."

JB nods. He understands that he can't keep on meeting you anymore. He will soon go back to the city so he can't stay even as your friend. "What do you want to know?"

" **Where were you when I needed you the most?** " you ask, your heart still breaking a little. "Where were you when I needed you to hold me?"

You can see how it also pains him to think about it. He broke a lot of promises and you deserve an acceptable reason.

"Please tell me you were on this grand audition that landed you to where you are right now. Please tell me that I suffered alone in order not to hold you back." You wipe a tear that somehow escaped your eyes even though you're trying so hard not to choke on your words. "We can never be sure what choice is right, so please just tell me my choice was good enough. Good enough to make us both be happy of where we are now."

But JB can't answer. He doesn't know what to say. How can he tell you that a life of fame without you is no life at all? Or that he still, selfishly, want you back?

JB isn't happy, but he wouldn't trap you in his misery. It was his choice to leave you that caused him the pain of now. He can't blame it on you.

"It is," he pulls you into his arms so you wouldn't be able to see his lying eyes. "You chose very well, and I'm thankful that you were part of my life. I hope you not only what's good enough, but the best. You deserve it."

You don't deserve just me.


	41. Drabble #41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1\. "It's okay. I understand." + JACKSON

Jackson knew what he was getting into right before you could even reach him. The bar where he first met you was a common meeting place for illegal tradings. You looked harmless, innocent even, and that natural façade was what made you even more dangerous. Jackson knew he was doomed. Maybe one of his enemies found out his weakness for pure things and sent you to kill him.

That theory wasn't proven until tonight. After months of spending nights together, you were finally going to do your mission. It was too easy to get close to Jackson, that all the while you felt like he was the one tricking you. There were several times that he assured you two were alone, but even though he fucked you like he didn't care if anyone hears, you were pretty sure there were eyes watching and ears listening for the time you would make a wrong move.

It was only when he took you to a private island to spend your anniversary, and you did things that you doubt anyone would want to see, that you were assured you had him for your own. It was your chance.

In the middle of the night, when you could only hear the sounds of his steady breathing, when you knew he's too tired to fight back after the intense lovemaking you did prior sleeping, you took your weapon from your bag silently. It wasn't anything big. In fact, they wouldn't be suspicious of you carrying it around because you initially were to be Jackson's 'caregiver'. A syringe wouldn't be considered deadly by people who didn't know your favourite way of killing your targets. You shook your head to yourself. Who knew there were better paying ways to use your medical knowledge.

You pulled back the plunger and filled it with air. Classic. Injecting it on his obvious veins you kissed earlier can cause heart attack or respiratory failure. They wouldn't see any wound; you could go home free. But you had a backup plan, nonetheless. Your boss had prepared a brand new identity for you, if you feel like starting over.

You went close to your target, with a relieved smile. The moment is here.

"Truthfully, I thought you've already injected me with poison," his too alert voice made you gasped. He opened his eyes and looked at you straight. It was no use to hide your syringe. He seemed to have known what you're about to do miles away.

You stepped back. He might have played with you all this time, but you're not sure if his fondness can save you.

"Jackson," you said softly, "you know I'm only doing this because I have no choice."

Jackson nodded.  **"It's** **okay. I understand."**

You felt hope ignite within you. Maybe he isn't as ruthless as they said he is. He'd forgive you for trying to kill him. You put down your syringe and gave him your most innocent smile.

He gestured you to come close to him, and you let yourself into his arms. You felt him pat your back. "So you should also understand why I will do this."

You were more of shocked than in pain when he plunged his own little knife on your back.


	42. Drabble #42 / LAST

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 11\. "I was wrong." + MARK

 

The shock you feel when you finally get close to Mark is more evident than how in pain he is. Even though his white tunic is now turning scarlet, he's still smiling at you with no waver. You hate how up to the very end, it's him who assures you that everything will be okay.

No. This isn't okay. It will never be okay for you again if he leaves you.

You tear the end of your dress even though your hands are madly shaking. You're not even sure if binding his stab wounds will be enough, given how he's now bathing in his own blood. But you have to at least try. You already regret leaving him and believing what he said about being fine alone. You should have been there beside him, fighting with him.

"Okay, Mark, I need you to calm down. The medics are coming. I'll wrap this around you and press down until help is here. I need you to breathe and not fall asleep, understand that?"

Mark chuckles, coughing midway. It makes your tears well up.

"God damn it, Mark, this isn't funny! Stop laughing or I swear--if you die, I will kill you!"

"That doesn't even make sense--"

"No, don't talk! Save your energy!" you're screaming at this point, not only because he isn't listening to you, but also because the words are hard to get out when you're sobbing hysterically.

"Don't cry," he coos at you, making you cry even harder.

"This is all your fault! You said you'll be fine and that I should go with Jaebeom! You have to make up to me so don't you dare die in front of me!"

"Yes.  **I was wrong,** " he admits with a small smile. "But I can't promise I'll make up to you. Why don't you turn your back for ten seconds? At least, I won't die in front of you."

"Mark, what the fuck, you can't make me do that!"

"Turn around," he commands or pleads; you're not sure which, but you do as told.

Your tears continue to fall as you count the seconds. You know what you'll see once you face him again. You used to think you're the stronger one out of the two of you, but times like this proves that Mark, the usual crybaby, is so much better.

"I love you, you know," you hear him say softly at the last seconds. You want so bad to look at him, but his voice is already hoarse, you can only imagine how the light is escaping his eyes. "Sorry I couldn't say earlier."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last one. Thank you for reading!


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